[One sight has become unusually regular in the village: a frail and bearded ape in a rocking chair, rapping his cane around as he complains about the glory days of video games.
He doesn't stay in one place for too long... because eventually people begin avoiding him. So he often hobbles around town to plant his rocking chair somewhere else, with a fresh audience. To hear his rants, which sounds like this:]
Honestly, I thought the Donkey Kongas were bad, but this is the real bottom of the barrel. This has to be the most awful video game I've ever been stuck in. This resolution is hurting my eyes, and everything is so realistic that it's just boring. I've never had to use a bathroom in game before in my life, but now I'm going like clockwork. And another thing! Why does the item shop have all those items. Back in my day, there's only three items you needed: an umbrella, a hat and a purse! Those gave you all the bonus points you needed to get by, and you'd consider yourself lucky if you found a hammer! ...Bah, and you all need haircuts, you infuriating kids!
no subject
He doesn't stay in one place for too long... because eventually people begin avoiding him. So he often hobbles around town to plant his rocking chair somewhere else, with a fresh audience. To hear his rants, which sounds like this:]
Honestly, I thought the Donkey Kongas were bad, but this is the real bottom of the barrel. This has to be the most awful video game I've ever been stuck in. This resolution is hurting my eyes, and everything is so realistic that it's just boring. I've never had to use a bathroom in game before in my life, but now I'm going like clockwork. And another thing! Why does the item shop have all those items. Back in my day, there's only three items you needed: an umbrella, a hat and a purse! Those gave you all the bonus points you needed to get by, and you'd consider yourself lucky if you found a hammer! ...Bah, and you all need haircuts, you infuriating kids!