Buffy is gonna kill her.

[knowsaboutviscera]

Player Name: Val
Are you new: Yes!
Character Name: Dawn Summers
Character Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer

[text]

[The icon shows Dawn surrounded by wilderness.]

Diary of an Expedition: The Barrier. Part 3.

Three days into our journey, we still have not reached the barrier. The climate is pleasant; we have been blessed to be spared by rain. Today's lunch consists of preserves and fish from a nearby stream. They appear to be trout, but as I never went fishing, I really cannot say.

Last night, we were surprised by a bear at the camp. We chased it away by banging pots. It might have been looking for food. Sorry, bear, but you'll have to catch your own. You're programmed to do it, it can't be that hard. Lazy bastard.

While fishing (and let me tell you, that was not an easy task for a suburban girl like me), I observed a pair of squirrels facing off. It was kind of cute in a gruesome way. They really went down and dirty with it. Luckily both came out of it alive, so no squirrels were harmed in this process. Today.

I would also like to inform you that corn meal, water, and wild blackberries roasted over a campfire do not a tasty impromptu treat make. Especially since whatever herb we picked to put in the mixture, it was decidedly not peppermint. One can only hope it is not poisonous.

This is the end of today's report. If nothing more exciting happens today, you shall get another update tomorrow. If no report comes forth, I can be presumed to have been eaten by bears or poisoned myself.

Have a nice day,

~ D.S.

[HI EVERYONE HERE IS DAWN also the "we" is totally a lie, she's out there alone. She just thought it would sound cooler. And perhaps make Buffy-strangling less likely.]

Comments

[knowsaboutviscera]

What exactly did she say?

[all7seas]

"Erm....well, told me I hadn't won 'salesman of the year' or something along those lines..."

[knowsaboutviscera]

... oh, Buffy. Ever the romantic.

Anyway. Was there a "yes" in there?

[all7seas]

"It wasn't a no!"

[knowsaboutviscera]

Okay. No yes. Phew!

[all7seas]

"You don't want her to be my bride?"

[knowsaboutviscera]

I don't know. Would I get to live on a pirate ship?

[Dodging the question, 'cause shit up there just got serious.]

[all7seas]

"Of course. I need someone to load all the cannons."

There are no cannons on the Joanna Joyce.

"And the kids'll need Auntie Dawn about."

[knowsaboutviscera]

[This gets him... a squeal.]

KIDS??

[all7seas]

WHERE?!

[knowsaboutviscera]

You. You just said there were going to be kids.

You just told me you plan to impregnate my sister!

[SO MANY LEVELS OF NOT OKAY.]

[all7seas]

"Mmmmm. Impregnating."

[knowsaboutviscera]

Oh god, shut up! Nananananaaaaa, not listening!

[all7seas]

"What?"

He's not listening anymore either. There's too much impregnation going on in his head.

[knowsaboutviscera]

Not. Listening.

[She just had enough trauma to last her her entire life. And that's saying something, considering her life up to now.]

[all7seas]

"She'd still go on and be the slayer and all. It wouldn't stop her."

[knowsaboutviscera]

That's not the issue here! The issue is just -- ew! She's my sister!

[all7seas]

"Right. Honor bright, we've only ever played battleship. And Monopoly. And Twister.




And Candyland."

Though he had found Candyland to be a very filthy game indeed.

"I vow I have never sullied her honor."

[knowsaboutviscera]

[That gets a snort.]

Just don't talk to me about it. Ever.

[all7seas]

"You've certainly not changed, Dawnie. But you wanted the kids. Before."

[knowsaboutviscera]

What? Okay, backtrack. Before? Some kind of weird alternate dimension before that I don't remember?

it couldn't be helped i had to do this

[herotypical]

"...Oh my God."

This tone of voice. It ought to be familiar. "Discretion. Look it up. It's supposed to be the better part of valour or something else equally corny."

: D

[all7seas]

"Hallo, Annie! I'm not at all valorous, nor discreet!"

[herotypical]

"I know that. And you know that. But does she have to know that?"

[all7seas]

"I don't think she likes me very well. Doesn't want you to be my bride."